New Year Reflections

This week I complete my 85th year on the planet.  I love that my birthdays always inaugurate  the New Year and thus not only promote, but deepen my reflections. As I review the contents of my closets and files getting ready for 2025,  I notice something new floating in— an awareness of my diminishing number of remaining days, and the two choices I have for my “stuff”.

Who was Aunt Martha Anyway?  What of my old writings do I want to turn into a memoir that shares with others  my unique journey on the planet?                    What doesn’t Aunt Martha need anymore? What parts of my existence are ready for trash, recycling, or gifts to others?

I’m a person who reflects….and each several years the questions that my soul offers  become less abstract and more personal.    From “What do I want to do in life? to “What do I most want to do during these my remaining days?”   From “What’s a good death?”  to “How can I Iocate the end-of-life caretaking services this solo-ager may need?”      And the newest one:  “Shall I actually downsize to a smaller apartment to make it easier on the nieces and nephews who will make the final decisions of what to keep or toss?

Check in with your soul.  As we begin a new year, what important questions are seeking your attention these days?

Starting Anew

Resident Pete Bouvier loves TREES!  And he gave a walking tour around our building, sharing his love and knowledge about the trees we live with.   About 12 neighbors joined him.  (Did you know that there are over 120 varieties of maple trees brought over from Asia and Europe, in addition to our own native varieties?)

 AND, Pete is a member of our Garden Group whose members plant vegetables in the mini-garden,  attend to flowers in the cloister, or take responsibility for watering flowers on dry days. 

It’s that simple!

What do YOU love to do? And are you doing it?  In elder years, when life as it used to be has at least partially disappeared, how do we manage to launch ourselves with new purpose?  How do we remain useful and stay connected with others? How do we build new friendships?

 

My senior residence, Providence Place in Holyoke, is becoming a vibrant community encouraging just what we need.  People are sharing their interests and expertise in classes and conversations with each other.  Everyone learns and everyone has fun.

It is truly a challenge to deal with losses as we age, and,  an equal challenge to create a new life.   Our new neighbor Pete found a way to contribute, and inspired this post.     And I, never having been a serious card playing person, am learning to play canasta with, and getting to know better,  a very nice group of folks. Creating a new way to live fully is necessary, and, it is possible.

 

                     How are YOU doing? 

        

Encountering Age

At 58,  I  encountered illness with a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis.  You notice I didn’t say I encountered “aging.”

For first 10 years, it was a slippery slope of jogging less and less, tennis less and less, starting to use a cane, taking two walking sticks on a pilgrimage to Greece, a back collapse with scoliosis,  keeping a walker permanently in the trunk of my car, always seeking the handicapped parking, and eventually installing hand controls in my Honda Civic.  

At 71, I self-published 2 books of poetry (Musing Along the Way-both republished in 2022) sharing my journey losing the active life that I loved.  The notion of  “aging” was never mentioned in those volumes!   

Neither my mother nor my father, active until the end,  had modeled for me any concerns about “aging.” My goal along the way had been to heal.  WHOOPS!  One day, I realized that I had been “aging” under the guise of illness. My consciousness about my own aging had been slow to come.

More recently, during the last 10 years,  friends have been dying.  I’ve been losing my sense of taste. Then my hearing required aids. More recently I’ve noticed my memory faltering daily in small ways.  Yesterday, however, my awareness  surfaced in a not-so-small way.  I had driven to physical therapy, and parked at the front door for my hour long appointment. When I returned to my car, I realized the keys were in the ignition and the car was still running. I was shocked.

So my probable next book, percolating for a while, is now getting some serious attention.   For the last 10 years, I will admit I have been Encountering AGE little by little…Without a Map and doing my best. As I enter this next stage of life, this time a bit more consciously, I’m  more willing to notice and address the encounters and the declines and to make sense of it all.

Yes, now 84, I am definitely aging. Or rather,  actually I am unapologetically getting “old.”

And, there is still life to be lived, as we learn to cope with the changes. For me, the aging process is now conscious. I do less, and I gain positive new perspectives. I talk about the process with others.   Some of our local discussion leaders call the stages which we need to accommodate all at once as  Living Fully, Aging Gracefully, and Befriending Death.

It’s good to have a positive approach to this journey we all will share.  

Blessings along the way.